Snow White, Mirrors, and the 14-Year-Old Still Sitting in Leadership Meetings
What This Article Is About
A concert, a song, and one unexpected emotional reaction led me back to the 14-year-old version of myself still quietly sitting in leadership meetings today.
This article explores how many of the patterns we call professionalism, leadership, control, perfectionism, or “holding everything together” may actually be old survival strategies dressed up as competence — and why people experience far more than our strategy when we walk into a room. They experience our nervous system, our energy, and the atmosphere we create around them.
Through a personal reflection inspired by Laufey’s Snow White and insights from the Beyond Boxes Index™, this piece explores self-awareness, leadership, emotional patterns under pressure, and the subtle difference between performing leadership… and consciously leading from presence.
The 14-Year-Old Still Sitting in Leadership Meetings
What if some of the behaviours we call leadership are actually old survival strategies dressed up as competence?
by Rúna Magnúsdóttir, Leadership Coach, Keynote Speaker & Founder of Beyond Boxes Index
Snow White, Mirrors, and the 14-Year-Old Still Sitting in Leadership Meetings
A few months ago, I was at a concert in Iceland listening to the magnificent Icelandic musician Laufey sing her famous song, Snow White.
Somewhere in the middle of the song, Laufey shares her story;
"They try to tell me, tell me I'm wrong
But mirrors tell lies to me, my mind just plays along"
I felt that very specific lump in my throat — the one that arrives before you fully understand why you are emotional.
And suddenly, in that concert hall, I was fourteen again.
Fourteen years old in front of my bathroom mirror and trying to figure out how to fit in without becoming too much.
Or too little.
Trying to read the room correctly.
Trying to be liked.
Trying to be safe.
And the interesting thing is this:
Many of us never fully stop doing that.
We have just become more sophisticated at it.
We turn it into something we call professionalism.
- Leadership.
- Achievement.
- Being “good with people.”
- Being the capable one.
The one who holds everything together.
And honestly, some of our greatest strengths are born there.
But lately I have been wondering:
How much of who we are today is truly conscious… and how much is just an old survival strategy dressed up as competence?
Because even now, there are moments when I walk into a room to lead a workshop or facilitate a difficult conversation, and I can feel myself subtly stepping into a preset role.
Not because I am fake.
I think it's much more because somewhere along the way, I learned that playing the role felt safer than simply being me.
What is ironic, in hindsight, is that the most impactful moments in my work have almost never happened when I tried hardest to look like a leader.
They happened when I relaxed, in my flow.
When the room relaxed.
When people felt safe enough to disagree.
To reflect.
To be human.
This is the part of leadership we talk about far too little:
People not only experience our strategy.
They experience our nervous system.
The atmosphere we create.
The tension.
The calm.
The listening.
The subtle need for approval, control, perfection, or certainty.
What goes unsaid in a room often tells us just as much as what is spoken.
Recently, I have been reviewing responses to the Beyond Boxes Index™, including my own.
And honestly?
Some of my personal BBI reports were not especially comfortable to see.
But as I sat with it, I read it again and again, and then one more time, and then something shifted.
I judged myself a little less.
And I started noticing the patterns more clearly.
What I do when I feel pressure.
What I do when I want control.
What happens when old protective habits quietly take over.
Not because I am a bad leader.
Much more because I am a human one.
Maybe self-awareness is not really about fixing ourselves.
Maybe it begins with noticing a little sooner when the 14-year-old version of us quietly takes a seat at the table again.
And maybe leadership becomes more powerful the moment we stop trying so hard to look powerful in the mirror…and become curious about the energy we bring into the room instead.
That is why the Beyond Boxes Index™ matters to me.
It is not just an assessment.
It is a mirror - more a reflector that reflects your patterns and the energy you leave behind in people's minds and hearts.
A mirror that helps leaders notice their patterns a little sooner.
The pressure they carry.
The atmosphere they create around other people.
Because sometimes the most powerful leadership work does not begin with becoming someone new.
Sometimes it begins with finally seeing ourselves clearly.
Explore the Beyond Boxes Index™ - grab the good box and bad box for FREE here!
Reykjavík, May 24th 2026
Rúna Magnúsdóttir (aka Runa Magnus) is a global keynote speaker, leadership coach, and founder of Beyond Boxes Index — a Leadership Energy Intelligence diagnostic currently in BETA. She works with leaders, boards, and HR teams who believe that self-awareness is not optional — it's the only real superpower.
Personal branding, leadership and development books by Rúna Magnús
Beyond Gender: The New Rules of Leadership - GRAB COPY HERE!
The Story of Boxes, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - GRAB YOUR COPY HERE!
Branding Your X-Factor - GRAB YOUR COPY HERE!